The Handfilm of HEPS soon at a theater near you

Following my previous posts, I have been (falsely) accused of being presumptuous and over-confident in my predictions. So, this time, I have decided to stop speculating and to talk about something everybody in this HEPEX community should be placing an early bet on: next year’s Chaoscar best picture award frontrunner, the “Handfilm of HEPS”.

Which film could have better chances for the most prestigious award in Earth Sciences?

Experts have weighed in on which film will win the best picture at the next Chaoscar awards. This year’s award showed that sometimes 20% happens and I am 100% 99.9% confident that the “Handfilm of HEPS” has all that a film needs to run for glory.

I don’t want to spoil the surprise, so just to mention a few of its glorious moments, take, for instance, the high-scored quality car chase scene, where a trio of post-processing vehicles are pursued by a verification helicopter down a long-range lane at breakneck speed for some real-time synchronised manoeuvres over unexpected drainage areas. The final shots of the film mirror the beginning directly, showing the eccentric Doctor D. Terministic on his last day of work, leaving the job to pursue a new career. There is a silence followed by an undulating sound that creeps into you. The film does not show more than that but we have a peculiar feeling that this is a hint for a sequel…

Contacted by email, F. Pappenspielberg said the producers would need at least 51 crew members if they wanted to achieve a skillful performance in time. Someone who knows Marylena Monramoes very well has said she was expecting that the film would finally launch her career. Spike Leevanidis has kept secret of his role in the film. Earlier this week, however, he tweeted that “there has been a lot of #hype about this film” (the tweet has since been deleted). A. Hollywoods was astounded to hear all the fuss being made about it: “An 80-min film? Are you sure? I just hope they are not going to fill the script with scenes of humans in the loop. It’s time to have a new movie paradigm with less 3D-effects and more resolution”.

The final words come to Obiduan Kenobi, today’s most influential film producer at Metro-Goldwyn-Maia: “You heard what you wanted to hear, believed what you wanted to believe. You are going to find that many of the truths about ensemble predictions depend greatly on two unique volumes. HEPS can become more powerful than you can imagine…”

With the release of the “Handfilm of HEPS”, you should hurry to get a copy of the book that inspired the film before it is sold out! Check here.

May the flow be with you!


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